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A Boxer's Promise
I will not eat the cats' food, before or after they eat it I will not burn rubber through the open car window and into the fast food restaurant, no matter how good it smells. The computer's mouse is, unlike a real mouse, inedible. I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of carpet in the house when I am about to throw up. I will not throw up in the car. I will scootch my bottom along the grass to rid myself of hangers-on. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs,ect. I will not eat other animal's poop. I will not lick my human's face after eating other animal's poop. "Kitty box crunchies" are not food. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar. I will not chew crayons or pens, 'especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging. When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it is raining outside. I will not drop soggy tennis balls in the underwear of someone who is sitting on the toilet. We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV. I will not steal my Mom's underwear and dance all over the back yard with it. The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps. My head does not belong in the refrigerator. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and car registration. I will not play tug-o-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet. I do not need to stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table. I will not roll my toys behind the fridge. The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff. I must shake the rain water off my fur and wipe my feet BEFORE entering the house. I will not eat the cats' food, before or after they eat it I will not burn rubber through the open car window and into the fast food restaurant, no matter how good it smells. The computer's mouse is, unlike a real mouse, inedible. I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of carpet in the house when I am about to throw up. I will not throw up in the car. I will scootch my bottom along the grass to rid myself of hangers-on. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs,ect. I will not eat other animal's poop. I will not lick my human's face after eating other animal's poop. "Kitty box crunchies" are not food. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar. I will not chew crayons or pens, 'especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging. When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it is raining outside. I will not drop soggy tennis balls in the underwear of someone who is sitting on the toilet. We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV. I will not steal my Mom's underwear and dance all over the back yard with it. The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps. My head does not belong in the refrigerator. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and car registration. I will not play tug-o-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet. I do not need to stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table. I will not roll my toys behind the fridge. The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff. I must shake the rain water off my fur and wipe my feet BEFORE entering the house. If I should break this plege, please remember what your pledge is to me....I forgive you :-) nblankenship@nmanchester.net

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